A GODLY WOMAN’S GUIDE TO 2024
Emily Carr
I can’t believe how fast 2023 flew by. The year came with many highs and lows, triumphs and setbacks, smooth waters and rollercoasters. I just finished my third semester of college, and looking back I am amazed at the amount of significant life events that happened this year. Even looking back at my prayer journal from last year, I can see a difference in the way that I write and view my spiritual life. It’s one of those beautiful things that you realize not in the moment, but as it is continually happening, as God is working and moving within you.
I’ve noticed that over the course of this year, I have discovered the joy that comes from embracing my femininity. I’ve found that while I obviously don’t mind being referred to as a girl, being called a woman, particularly by those with whom I am close, feels particularly meaningful. In my mind, there is another level of respect associated with the word woman. In a way, it represents maturity, but it also represents living out, to the best of my ability, the calling that God has placed within me. Being a woman is such a gift and God has given us qualities, talents, and unique abilities that we ought to use for His Glory. Someone once told me that women have been given four particular gifts: generosity, sensitivity, receptivity, and maternity. In this “Godly Woman’s Guide,” I will be unpacking these four gifts and explaining how we should try to invest in them this year.
The first is generosity. God has placed a yearning within our hearts to serve others. It’s innate; even if it takes different forms within each person, the call to give, help, and care for others is present. We ought to respond to this call with open hearts and see how we can use our talents to lead others closer to Christ — spiritual generosity. Personally, I find this call best answered in my own life through serving at my parish at college. Inviting friends to church, lectoring at Mass, and being open to praying with others are all ways that God is calling me to grow in generosity. Obviously I’m not perfect; invitations are often nerve-wracking and so is praying with someone who chooses to be vulnerable with you. But the call is there; God has placed us in our specific social circles for a reason. It is up to us to discern what those reasons are and make the most of them.
The second gift is sensitivity. Here, I don’t mean the rollercoaster of emotions that goes through every woman’s brain…that can feel like a blessing and a curse and even just something to laugh about on any given day. Sensitivity refers to the genuine concern for the feelings of both others and ourselves. In other words, empathy. (Disclaimer: men can, of course, do this and we ought to validate their feelings; I’m just choosing to focus on this within a feminine context.) Sometimes it’s difficult to process our emotions, but feelings need to be felt. Holding everything captive inside our brains only creates a spiraling effect that can lead to fear, temptation, and anxiety. Embracing our gift of sensitivity means that we recognize that feelings are a gift and they are part of what make us uniquely human. It is perfectly wonderful and normal to feel joyful and skip down the sidewalk after a good day! Conversely, it is also okay to feel weak after a rough conversation with someone you thought was a friend. It is okay to feel broken and cry during Adoration. God’s love goes deeper than our feelings; it is constant and permanent and He does not change even when our minds do. In November I went on a Kairos retreat with about forty-five students from my parish at school, and those two and a half days probably contained every emotion one could feel. I had been expecting more constancy and less roller-coaster, seeing as I generally feel more at peace on retreat, but for whatever reason I just couldn’t keep my head clear. However, on the last day we were each given “affirmation bags” with notes from other retreatants. After finding my bag full of notes from my friends I realized that I often spend so much time validating other people that I never take the time to validate myself in the same way. I decided to tape all the notes on my dorm room wall around my mirror — not to inflate my ego, but to remind myself that I am not alone. I’d like to encourage you to try and see yourself and others through God’s eyes no matter what feelings are present in your heart. Amid all our fluctuating emotions, God never changes. Tape some affirmations on your mirror. Tell your friends what you love about them. Don’t be afraid to embrace the emotions God has given you.
The third gift is receptivity. This goes hand in hand with both generosity and sensitivity. It is one thing to tape the affirmations on your wall, but it’s another to actually accept what they say. Receptivity can come in many different forms, but I’m going to focus on spiritual receptivity: believing that what God’s word says is true, and choosing to act on it. It can be easy to fall into pride and not believe that we are ever going to be good enough for others, ourselves, and God. Yet, we must know ourselves in order to grow in virtue; having faith that God made us with purpose and has a plan for every aspect of our lives is the key to living a purposeful life. Choosing to be open to the Lord’s will — being receptive to His word and the adventures that He will allow us to have — will lead to greater peace and surrender within our hearts. In turn, this receptivity will allow us to place the Lord and our neighbor before ourselves. When we live with open hearts that are filled with hope in God, we can pursue our vocations whole-heartedly and lead others closer to Christ through them.
This leads me to the final gift: maternity. Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to women. This can come either physically, through bearing children and raising them, or spiritually. We are all called to imitate the Blessed Virgin Mary and embrace our vocation and the unique talents that God has given us which will help us as we pursue it. A woman’s mind is a complex thing and oftentimes we are chided for “caring too much” or overthinking elements of life; yet the beauty of our gift of maternity comes from the strength of our generosity, sensitivity, and receptivity and all of these naturally require us to care too much! I can remember that growing up I always looked forward to a gentle hug from my mother every day after school. She worked full-time, so she wouldn’t be home until dinner-time, but the moment she opened the door my sister and I would run through the house as fast as we could to see who could embrace her first. Now, I cannot wait to hopefully experience the same joy with my own children one day.
The feminine gifts are beautiful and ought to be viewed as a blessing rather than as a “checklist” of things we “must do” or feel “obligated” to do as women. This year, I encourage you, dear sisters, to embrace your femininity and pray that God leads you to and through your vocation every day. Life is such a grand adventure and He has so much planned for you, and the gifts He has given you are meant to equip you for the journey ahead. Let us then live this year fully, with joy and love, not comparing ourselves to others, but boldly embracing the blessings from Heaven around us.
